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Post by Trev Williams on Feb 22, 2007 12:39:00 GMT -1
I've just started a course on self esteem based on the CBT model so I'll try to post up what i learn on here when i get time
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Post by Trev Williams on Feb 22, 2007 13:01:38 GMT -1
There is a model, nicknamed the hot cross bun, which links vicious circles that many people experience with mental health problems, and/or low self esteem.
An example given was writing a txt message and not getting a reply. The trigger was writing the text message, perhaps asking someone to go for a drink, and the emotions which occurred when not getting a quick reply were “they don’t like me”, or more extremely “they hate me”.. which might then link to “I must have said the wrong thing” or “I must be a bad person”.. This then links to raised anxiety, perhaps nausea, lack of sleep, maybe even panic.. etc. and all rational thoughts like “maybe they’re busy”, or “maybe they don’t have any credit to reply” are abandoned. It’s important to stop the loop occurring as quickly as possible, and not get into the cycle “I should have said this”, or “I shouldn’t have done that”.
Should and shouldn’t are very negative thought patterns in themselves.. it implies an ideal scenario which isn’t at all realistic. A more constructive thought would be, I wont assume anything until I’ve found out why they didn’t reply, or in future I will try calling people instead so I don’t get trapped waiting for a reply.
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Post by vixie on Mar 2, 2007 1:14:27 GMT -1
I like the theory of this, though putting it into practice is most likely somewhat harder...but thank you for sharing, i can at least try and put some of these thoufghts into my head  |
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Post by lorraine1 on Mar 2, 2007 17:18:50 GMT -1
Yes, I agree there, the theory is great, the practice can be harder. However, the aim or hope of changing patterns of thinking or behaviours that can cause certain difficulties, in turn hopefully helps change the way a person feels, which would be great. Often, CBT can reduce the symptoms of many emotional problems and really help bring about change. Its not a miracle cure tho, but great in perhaps helping with coping skills to help prevent the downward spiral of mood.
Lolly
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Erica
Rigel from the constilation Orion
Posts: 42
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Post by Erica on Mar 3, 2007 2:54:15 GMT -1
I really like the example Trev gave. I recently had an email situation that was very similar to that. I had been email someone about an event, and she didn’t reply. I thought she might have been upset about it, but it turned out that she emailed me back. (Or thought she did). Her email came through three days after I had sent mine. Taking control over your negative thoughts is so difficult at times.
I once heard that our thought lives are like a big mountain of dirt. When it rains water goes down and makes grooves or ruts. So every time that it rains, it naturally takes the same path down the mountain.
When we’ve had negative or positive thoughts enter our mind, they make those grooves. All events in our lives will be filtered through those paths. Good or bad events will be filtered through the same negative or positive patterns of thinking.
It is really hard to try to redirect those paths of thought, but it is possible. You have to learn how to build a dam to block them. You have to choose to think the positive thoughts and stop the negative ones.
LOL Very much easier said than done! But SO worth it when it happens.
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Post by Trev Williams on Mar 4, 2007 17:48:43 GMT -1
Hey Erica, so glad you could relate to the example  I love your mountain imagary, i think that is very accurate, and describes why someone who has suffered mental health problems would be susseptible to relapses, and the d**n built in the negative thought parterns could break if there is heavy rain. I think this is also why finding the root of a problem is very important too and many therapists link mental health to experiences in childhood.. even though the breakdown could come a lot later. when someone has made such deep 'grooves' as you say in their mind it's hard to get back rational thinking.. and is probably why people find descision making so difficults when they are unwell Trev |
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Post by Trev Williams on Feb 3, 2009 7:32:56 GMT -1
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datacruz
Polaris from the constilation Ursa Minor
Posts: 13 
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Post by datacruz on Oct 14, 2009 14:10:55 GMT -1
Some interesting points here. In my teens I'd occasionally smoke pot (and I mean occasionally, I was always wary of the stuff). I remember one evening with a couple of friends and a few beers, I was quite stoned and fairly paranoid, though I wasn't really aware of it, untill... I didn't have my own beer so I asked if I could have one. My friend, who was having a conversation with my other friend said 'bludger!'
BLUDGER: noun, a person who lives off the efforts of others; a person who does not pay his fair share or who does not make a fair contribution to a cost, enterprise, etc., a cadger; an idler, one who makes little effort.
He then laughed, and my other friend laughed in turn, but they both otherwise completely ignored me as though I didn't exist.
I went into an uncharacteristic, and horrible, zone of paranoia (actually I often got paranoid when stoned). Only after what seemed like quite a long time did I drum up the courage, as it were, to queary what had happend.
What he'd actually said was 'badger!', apparently a term for farting, as he'd just done when I asked for a beer, (I didn't realize) that was the joke between them, they hadn't even heard me.
I keep away from grass, it never suited me and it was terrible for my short term memory... I'd be constantly fixated on something like - where have I put what, in which pockets? etc etc.. hopeless.
But this is not to say that it was completely uncharacteristic, I certainly had underlying self esteem issues.
It is so easy to jump to a negative conclusion about ignored emails etc... but this, again, is not without reason... society is built basically on lies hence the deficit... debt is the failure of people to live within their means, is usually an egotistical, vain, overshoot, overestimation of self worth (paradoxical huh?) but it's mostly the environment and exploited people in the so called developing world that really pick up the tab.
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