Anger and mental Health

[Trev Williams]

A friend suggested starting a discussion on anger in terms of mental health.. how does anger effect the way you function? a lot of stigma around mental health stems from a few people with anger problems who might become violent when distressed.. are there any good ways to tackle these feelings? music is theraputic for many of my mental health issues, my friend suggested that drums might be a good release of anger and stress.. any thoughts?
Trev

[Pink Fairy]

I think it works two ways, anger can be expressed or repressed. Some people get angry when distressed sure, in which case physical things that direct that out are helpful. When I'm feeling outwardly angry samba drumming works a treat - I must buy myself one - but equally there are theories that suggest things like depression are caused by anger being repressed.

ninety percent of the time I fall into the second camp, I hate anger and violence having lived with a very angry person who was quite unpredictably explosive, so I associate the two together, anger = violence as such. So I hold it in and don't let it out, which often doesn't help how I'm feeling. I guess that makes for passive-aggressive people. I'm often quite rebellious towards people when I'm in this mode, I refuse to do things for them and throw teenage sulks I guess, because I don't know how to explain my anger.

I guess the key is being able to express the anger in an assertive but productive manner, be that through talking or physical solutions.

There's plenty of theories out there relating to anger cycles and such forth which I can dig out if people think they'd be useful, as well as other tools to explore anger, such as anger diaries....I think anger is quite key in lots of MH issues....

[Trev Williams]

hey Pink Fairy! nice to hear from you.
yes i would agree that depression can be repressed anger.. I was talking to someone yesterday about the different personality type where some people would lash out, and others would lash in, as it were.. my understanding would be that a lot of mental anger comes from bottling emotions up, although this wouldn't always relate to physical anger, bottled up anger could potentially explode out.. another topic which is closely related is Stress.. I think if someone is extremly stressed out, they are far more likely to lash out, and often do this at someone/something unrelated to the problem... so how do you de-stress? being able to express anger is something we all need to learn, no matter if we are mentally ill, or seemingly stable.

definitely interested in disgussing any tools to explore anger with people too.. anyone else?

[joe]

"yes i would agree that depression can be repressed anger.."
Can be. As far as I'm concerned it isn't though. Being angry and being depressed are two separate states of mind for me, if I'm depressed I don't normally feel angry because when I'm angry I'm also normally excited and I don't feel excited when I'm feeling depressed.

That said, having an angry fit or feeling angry but not showing it can certainly contribute to depression later.

Mostly I think my anger stems from frustration, if I feel depressed about going out into the street and having to 'deal with' rude people then the chances are I will probably get angry when I meet someone who is rude.

Drums are definately a good way to channel anger, I think that's because playing drums is quite a physical thing, I suspect that doing anything physical will channel anger though.

[Trev Williams]

I guess it's just a theory, people get depressed for lots of reasons, generally situaions which are upsetting / hurtful.. and I guess one could say that if you're upset about something you could easily get angry (an example would be an arguement in a difficult relationship). and suppressing this anger would only make it worse?

I have often been hurt (again mainly in relationships), and I kinda channel this into songwriting (sometimes constructivly and sometimes less so).. I guess the first few songs I wrote about the topic were angry songs.. they had swearing in, and were quite pointed.. although as time past the anger wasn't so much there but the depression still was, so the songs written were more.. lovelorn (if that's the write expression), or yearning.. these songs were less successful... I don't know at what point the anger got suppressed, but it did.. I think the theraputic values of playing the angry songs were far more benifitial than the sad songs (which kinda just reminded me of the pain).. a lot of my friends listen to angry music to let out there own anger in a similar way..

I wouldn't say I was an angry person at all, but my mental stability relys strongly on letting out aggression as if I were (so I guess I must be angry inside really).. and I love playing the drums.. and also hitting balls in sports.. that's good! yes physical and mental are very strongly linked.

[Trev Williams]

also my favourite film of all time is Fight Club (very good movie if you haven't seen it).. if you detach any emotional baggage from fighting do you actually cause pain?.. .. obviously physical pain, but emotionally it can be ellating.. if there was no conflict.. and you were still friends afterwards (and noone was seriously hurt of course)...

this would have to be done in an controlled environment where both parties fully understood what they were doing (ie the film.. which is perhaps stretching the boundarys of physical healing).. and perhaps sport is a far easier/safer alternative.. but an interesting concept nevertheless!

[primalscream]

Interesting topic...

I have a problem with repressed anger, I hate conflict and as a child any displays of anger were met with disgust so I learned from an early age to keep quiet to keep the peace. This means that now, as an adult, I turn my anger inward and hurt myself instead. Im learning to let things out instead of keeping them in but Im still unsure how to this in a healthy way. I was brought a punch bag at xmas which was a great release...untill I burst the thing! I find walking helps a lot, really pounding the pavement and speed walking...its quite exhillarating and after half hour of doing this Im usually calmer.

[Trev Williams]

Hi Primal Scream , I've always wanted a punch bag.. maybe need to get a heavy duty one if you're going to use it a lot i guess! I think it's interesting that you mention upbringing, and not being allowed to express anger at a young age.. I wasn't able to be noisy (and therefore angry) as a child becasue my sister is noise sensitive with a chronic illness.. this possibly acted in a similar way to how you mention where you turn anger inwards.. sometimes situations don't allow you to express your anger, but you still feel the anger.. and it has to go somewhere, so different ways of expressing it are very good.

[Tessa]

Hi Joe and everyone,

I too don't feel angry and depressed at the same time. However I have noticed that when I feel very angry about something and don't express it, as the anger goes away I start to feel depressed. This can take hours so in the past I didn't connect the two things.

If I can find a way to communicate with the person I am angry with this helps. To acnowledge the anger and say 'I am angry' is the simplest - but if the other person denies me my right to feel angry then the depression comes quicker. As Primal Scream says, some of us are taught in childhood that angry feelings are not acceptable.

I have never found it helpful to bash a pillow or to run - I still feel angry, and tired as well and somehow even more frustrated. What I want to do is to talk about it - it has to be when I am feeling angry, not later on, that doesn't seem to work either.

I really admire people who can turn it into a joke in some way - laughter certainly does relieve the tension.